Awareness 2014 - Getting to the bottom of things - Part 3

On Friday night, February 7th, a good friend called me in a response to a text conversation we were having. What he did not know was that he was a direct response to a prayer I had offered earlier that day. I was seeking comfort from everything going on. I had found the peace I needed about my work situation ending. I felt good about the possibilities of finding new work. 

I just had not found peace regarding all of these health issues and I wanted to somehow know that what I was doing and what I was planning to do was the right thing. I found that comfort in an hour long conversation. As I described what was going on with me, he recounted a story of his own, with a similar situation, the steps that were taken, the surgery that ensued and his path to recovery. I was being given very clear details that would become important in the coming days. His calm, take-it-in-stride attitude helped me feel more calm. It gave me information, much more so than the nurse had. He laid it all out there and his candor was exactly what I needed to hear. I am grateful to him for sharing with me something so personal. He was an answer to my prayer.

I spent the evening wrapping my head around what could be coming ahead. I had a long chat with a friend online, and I think his entire goal was to come up with as many "bottom" puns as possible.  Through the pain, I laughed and laughed. I know he was doing the best he could to get my mind off of things and I applaud his efforts. Thank goodness for friends who can sense when I need to get past myself and let go of worry. 

On Saturday, my Visiting Teacher (a female version of a Home Teacher) came to visit me. I asked if she could bring me a rubber donut to help me be able to sit. She did, but in addition she brought delicious soups, salad and cookies! I felt so spoiled and while I didn't have much appetite, those food would come in handy later in the week. Because of the location of my pain, the donut was not immediately useful - but would be another treasured item in my healing process the next week.

Sunday was a home bound day. Counting down to the time to go to the doctors. One more day to get through. I am trying to figure out how I am going to get through this last day and finally decide on a bath. You can imagine my hesitation of taking a bath because it required sitting and I couldn't sit anywhere comfortably, but I decided to take a chance. The physician I saw on the 30th told me sitz baths might help - and until now I had not taken any, only showers. 

I decided that since I had not gone to Church, I was going to listen to the Mormon Channel and pipe in some hymns while I was relaxing... or trying to anyhow. I filled the tub with water and eased myself into it. The heat of the water instantly relaxed my entire body.As I lay there cognizant that the pain I had been fighting against was subsiding, the song " Come Follow Me" came on.  And I could not hold back the tears...I lay in the water sobbing from 16 days worth of pain and even more in realizing that . a solution had been suggested to me 12 days back and I had never thought to use it. Not even once until today. "Kick against the pricks" anyone ?

I was instantly humbled and it brought to mind a comment of a friend that I am often in " fight" mode. And it made sense... I had no reason to fight. Not here in the tub, but not in my life either.  Jesus Christ asks us to follow Him, all the time. The invitation is never removed on his end. He welcomes us with open arms to look to him comfort, counsel, to heal us in both body and spirit. My spiritual lesson was being laid before me, in the only space where God could get my mind and soul quiet enough to hear Him. 

"Lord I Would Follow Thee" came on next and again, more spiritual witness of just how very much my Savior means to me.  " Find in thee my strength, my beacon, for thy servant I would be. Savior may I love my brother...Lord I would follow Thee."

To my friends who remind me when I am in my own way - THANK YOU! You may think I don't hear you, I may argue with you initially, and in the quiet moments of prayer and meditation, what is true in your words becomes clear to me. From God's mouth to your ears and then to me, you are the instrument in His hands. I am more grateful than you realize and likely more than I express outwardly. Thank you for seeing through my facade and helping me to see my strengths and weaknesses. The refining process is necessary for us to go through in order to go home again one day. It is making a difference in my life. I promise.